Once again it's been a while.
Mississippi.
I got to drive to Mississippi to meet my internet girlfriend (that is unfortunate). It was super great. We relaxed a lot, hung out with her family, visited a nice wildlife refuge, and ate. A LOT. It turns out when you go on a trip you eat double your weight in all sorts of food. It's a good thing I really love eating!
On the way back I had to shimmy my way through back highways to escape the gripping clutches of Hurricane Gustav. I couldn't have picked a better route. It was absolutely beautiful. I was surrounded by incredible green the entire time. The trees towered over my little Honda Accord like a cockroach on the floor of my kitchen (this is lucky, they're usually on my counter). At one point I stopped at a wonderful couples house to borrow a butter knife for my peanut butter sandwhiches. Her garden was absolutely stunning! She even had fish! They weren't growing in the ground but the plants all around them were.
All in all, it was a superb trip.
Hamlet 2.
Went and saw Hamlet 2 last night. I went in with super low expectations. Great idea. It was hilarious! One of the funniest movies I've seen in a very long time. If you have even the slightest love for theatre, you will go and see this movie. It is a tad on the ronchy side but nothing we've never seen before.
Go see it.
Jason.
yes...jason.
***i wrote half of this post this morning. now i'm finishing it. i'm very tired. this day was a lot longer than expected. i'll do it justice later.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Sunday, August 17, 2008
This is the Church
Look, This is Love
Come, come, whoever you are.
Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come.
-Rumi
They devoted themselves to the teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the teachers. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together. In community, they cooked and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
-Acts 4:32
Come, come, whoever you are.
Wonderer, worshipper, lover of leaving.
It doesn't matter.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
Come, even if you have broken your vow
a thousand times
Come, yet again, come, come.
-Rumi
They devoted themselves to the teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the teachers. All the believers were together and had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. Every day they continued to meet together. In community, they cooked and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
-Acts 4:32
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Blank Billboard
There is an empty billboard in Denton here that a buddy of mine and I have been eyeing for a couple of months now. We have brainstormed a few ideas of what could be done with it including murals, paint splatters, and other off the wall (ha rock me!) ideas. But the most recent idea we had has been to just paint a question on it. Not just any random question but one that will probe the city of Denton's mind to be more loving and caring for its neighbors. We would especially reach the Christians in the city and ask if they are truly following Jesus' commandments. I think of the quote from Mother Theresa:
"If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it. "
This is how we want to keep our lamp burning. If you have any suggestions for cool little questions. Or even awesome quotes or phrases that would probe our cities' minds, please by all means throw them out there!
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Prettiest Piece
Gazing down the stretch of the vast and sandy shore, I pulled in a long refreshing breath of the Pacific Northwest breeze. The oxygen filled my lungs and sent brilliant pulses from my brain to the tiniest nerve endings on the bottom of my dirtied feet.
I walked heavily for miles over thousands of crustacean shore dwellers and sunlit sand-dollars. I carried an old sack I had found a couple hundred yards back. I slowly filled it with extravagantly simple pieces of rocks and shells. These pieces were beautiful. Every one of them delicately designed with erosion etched patterns each with their own solar painting and coloring. They were the jewelry of the gods. As I wandered, I could only wonder of the magnificence of each. Who could possibly spend so much time creating all of these masterpieces?
I gathered as many as I could carry even with the hole in the bag I tried earlier to tie shut with a long piece of seaweed. There were thousands to choose from. It was nearly impossible not to step on them as I walked. My heart broke each instance I had to step over or on top of one to reach another I saw shimmering in the distance. They were gorgeous and held characteristics I could never dream of carrying myself. To choose the most perfect of them was a chore no one should attempt conquer. I felt as though I were too choosy by passing up such wonderful creations but my bag held its own limitations.
As my collection reached the brim of the bag and even began to overflow back onto the sand, I climbed up one of the nearby sand dunes and onto the fishing dock. I passed withered old fishermen, families enjoying picnics, and seagulls flying overhead. I found a spot near the far edge of the dock next to an older man enjoying an afternoon pipe. I nodded in his direction and sat down impatiently waiting my cherished findings.
I emptied the contents of the bag onto the wood paneling in front of my crossed legs. They poured out like the water they came from. These were the most magnificent of the beach. They were the ones that caught my eye. They held an importance higher than the rest for they carried my most favorite characteristics of color, shape, and size. Lying on the wood they seemed to shimmer like gold and silver. They were in fact a treasure.
I decided to try and pick out the most perfect piece. Seeing they were all so incredible, I figured finding one of supreme value would be simple. I began my search. I picked up the first piece and examined it thoroughly. The patterns on the sides were incredibly detailed and its color held a distinct flavor that resonated perfectly in my young soul. How could it be that on first try I had found the paramount piece? I looked out into the ocean and thanked it for showing me its beauty. After enjoying the awe of this piece I began to wonder about the rest. So I set the great one behind me to save and picked up the next piece closest to my right bare foot. I examined it critically with almost an animosity most undeserved. But I could not help but be completely blown away by the beauty of this new piece. It seemed to be just as impeccable as the former with possibly a few more exceptional qualities. I sat in awe at finding yet another immaculate piece and after only two!
Now with great confusion I began to inspect each and every piece. Still each held qualities superior to the previous. My amazement was wild. My cheekbones ached from my stretched smile. I uncrossed my legs and pulled the pile in close to my inner thighs so the sun reflected the colors onto my bare chest. Reds and blues and yellows and greens all shimmered on my sandy skin. I looked out once more to thank the sender for these precious gifts.
My eyes began to water. I couldn’t pick just one, they were all incredible! Not only this, but I didn’t deserve them! They were not mine. I found them and figured they were mine to take, but they were the shores’. How could I have been so inconsiderate? How could I have stepped on so many to take only a handful for my own pleasure?
Just then, the man smoking the pipe let out a tremendous cough. It startled me so much so that the neat pile of shells and rocks I had built was disrupted by my frightened legs.
“Are you ok?” I said.
“Sir?” I continued after not receiving a response from the old man now staring at my disrupted pile.
After taking a puff and then exhaling he responded with smoke pouring out from beneath his bearded face, “You wanna know somethin?”
“Um…sure….yeah….yes sir! Sure, I would love to know a lot of things!” I finally stammered with a short uncomfortable chuckle at the end.
He stared at me for what seemed to be a lifetime with deep, penetrating eyes surrounded by rough and aged skin. He took another puff on his pipe and exhaled slow and long.
“The treasure you’ve found is only precious because of the ocean that brought it to you.” He looked back out into the vast blue stretching farther than any eye could see.
I looked down at my treasure and suddenly knew what had to be done.
I gathered the rocks, stones, and broken pieces of crab shells, shoveled them back into my makeshift treasure box, and stood up to walk back to the opening of the dock. I jumped down the sand dunes and ran to the edge of the water. I grabbed the biggest handful of the treasure I could handle and with great freedom heaved it back out into the blue. Each handful brought me more freedom from anything and everything wrestling in my heart. They fell into the water like raindrops, each sinking deep down back to their home on the ocean floor.
When the bag was empty I felt as though I had been set almost completely free from all of my longings. I was nothing but a shore dweller standing alongside my brothers and sisters waiting to be thrown back into the sea.
I dropped the bag down behind my feet. I dusted my pants and chest off.
And I ran back into the waves.
I walked heavily for miles over thousands of crustacean shore dwellers and sunlit sand-dollars. I carried an old sack I had found a couple hundred yards back. I slowly filled it with extravagantly simple pieces of rocks and shells. These pieces were beautiful. Every one of them delicately designed with erosion etched patterns each with their own solar painting and coloring. They were the jewelry of the gods. As I wandered, I could only wonder of the magnificence of each. Who could possibly spend so much time creating all of these masterpieces?
I gathered as many as I could carry even with the hole in the bag I tried earlier to tie shut with a long piece of seaweed. There were thousands to choose from. It was nearly impossible not to step on them as I walked. My heart broke each instance I had to step over or on top of one to reach another I saw shimmering in the distance. They were gorgeous and held characteristics I could never dream of carrying myself. To choose the most perfect of them was a chore no one should attempt conquer. I felt as though I were too choosy by passing up such wonderful creations but my bag held its own limitations.
As my collection reached the brim of the bag and even began to overflow back onto the sand, I climbed up one of the nearby sand dunes and onto the fishing dock. I passed withered old fishermen, families enjoying picnics, and seagulls flying overhead. I found a spot near the far edge of the dock next to an older man enjoying an afternoon pipe. I nodded in his direction and sat down impatiently waiting my cherished findings.
I emptied the contents of the bag onto the wood paneling in front of my crossed legs. They poured out like the water they came from. These were the most magnificent of the beach. They were the ones that caught my eye. They held an importance higher than the rest for they carried my most favorite characteristics of color, shape, and size. Lying on the wood they seemed to shimmer like gold and silver. They were in fact a treasure.
I decided to try and pick out the most perfect piece. Seeing they were all so incredible, I figured finding one of supreme value would be simple. I began my search. I picked up the first piece and examined it thoroughly. The patterns on the sides were incredibly detailed and its color held a distinct flavor that resonated perfectly in my young soul. How could it be that on first try I had found the paramount piece? I looked out into the ocean and thanked it for showing me its beauty. After enjoying the awe of this piece I began to wonder about the rest. So I set the great one behind me to save and picked up the next piece closest to my right bare foot. I examined it critically with almost an animosity most undeserved. But I could not help but be completely blown away by the beauty of this new piece. It seemed to be just as impeccable as the former with possibly a few more exceptional qualities. I sat in awe at finding yet another immaculate piece and after only two!
Now with great confusion I began to inspect each and every piece. Still each held qualities superior to the previous. My amazement was wild. My cheekbones ached from my stretched smile. I uncrossed my legs and pulled the pile in close to my inner thighs so the sun reflected the colors onto my bare chest. Reds and blues and yellows and greens all shimmered on my sandy skin. I looked out once more to thank the sender for these precious gifts.
My eyes began to water. I couldn’t pick just one, they were all incredible! Not only this, but I didn’t deserve them! They were not mine. I found them and figured they were mine to take, but they were the shores’. How could I have been so inconsiderate? How could I have stepped on so many to take only a handful for my own pleasure?
Just then, the man smoking the pipe let out a tremendous cough. It startled me so much so that the neat pile of shells and rocks I had built was disrupted by my frightened legs.
“Are you ok?” I said.
“Sir?” I continued after not receiving a response from the old man now staring at my disrupted pile.
After taking a puff and then exhaling he responded with smoke pouring out from beneath his bearded face, “You wanna know somethin?”
“Um…sure….yeah….yes sir! Sure, I would love to know a lot of things!” I finally stammered with a short uncomfortable chuckle at the end.
He stared at me for what seemed to be a lifetime with deep, penetrating eyes surrounded by rough and aged skin. He took another puff on his pipe and exhaled slow and long.
“The treasure you’ve found is only precious because of the ocean that brought it to you.” He looked back out into the vast blue stretching farther than any eye could see.
I looked down at my treasure and suddenly knew what had to be done.
I gathered the rocks, stones, and broken pieces of crab shells, shoveled them back into my makeshift treasure box, and stood up to walk back to the opening of the dock. I jumped down the sand dunes and ran to the edge of the water. I grabbed the biggest handful of the treasure I could handle and with great freedom heaved it back out into the blue. Each handful brought me more freedom from anything and everything wrestling in my heart. They fell into the water like raindrops, each sinking deep down back to their home on the ocean floor.
When the bag was empty I felt as though I had been set almost completely free from all of my longings. I was nothing but a shore dweller standing alongside my brothers and sisters waiting to be thrown back into the sea.
I dropped the bag down behind my feet. I dusted my pants and chest off.
And I ran back into the waves.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Saying Goodbye
I've been going every Thursday for the summer to a park and putting on a bible school for some Somali refugee kids that live in Dallas. These kids are so adorable....
Tonight was the last night of the camp but these kids will always be in my heart!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
UPDATE!...geeze.
I warned each and every one of you that this would be hard for me. What with Facebook, Myspace, Xanga, and every other time consuming, brain diminishing piece of technological crap, it can not be expected that I be an impeccable blogger as well!
Well here goes.... it will be long....
1.
As of yesterday I no longer have a homeless man sleeping on my couch. (yes this was the case. although most of you that read this were probably extremely aware) It is very much a bitter sweet situation. Mostly bitter. Sweet because I do feel like my house is my home again. Bitter because....well:
Well here goes.... it will be long....
1.
As of yesterday I no longer have a homeless man sleeping on my couch. (yes this was the case. although most of you that read this were probably extremely aware) It is very much a bitter sweet situation. Mostly bitter. Sweet because I do feel like my house is my home again. Bitter because....well:
- I had to practically kick him out
- I wasn't able to see the success that my love for him brought
- I think he's mad at me (because I told him he couldn't drink alchohol in the house)
- I constantly am torn between tough love and unconditional love
- I couldn't understand his mental instabilities
- I feel like my house is my home again
These things have been heavy on my heart. I know for certain that God worked greatly in this situation but it is incredibly hard to find joy when the kingdom outcome seems so distant.
2.
My house is a cabin.
My mother chronicled the event. (except her version is missing a few more expletives.)
http://julielayne.blogspot.com/2008/07/are-you-my-mother.html
3.
I work in a water store. It is by far the easiest work I have ever done. Folks come in with their big 5 gallon water jugs. I turn the faucet on. I take their hard earned cash. I carry the bottles to their car. I shouldn't get paid for this.
The one thing that really makes the job incredible is the fantastic people I have met. It is mostly older folks (of course this wouldn't surprise you. you know me). They all have the first line, "Whew! It's hot!" As if they thought they were the one and only bearer of this horrid news. As if I was unaware that the temperature has been over 100 degrees for weeks. As if the more we mention the heat, the harder it is for it to enter our psyche. But, these folks really do have interesting stories. One guy came in and told me about the time Johnny Cash ate chilli with him. So incredibly random and so incredibly divine.
Lately the store has been extremely slow. This surprises me considering the composition of our bodies. I know I'm probably only running on 62% water what with plasma and all!
4.
My bike.
It was stolen off of my front porch. I had let Jason (the homeless guest) borrow my bike lock for the bike he was using. I thought it would be smarter to lock his bick up rather than mine because he was borrowing it from a friend. Of course I figured that niether would get stolen. There I go thinking again.
I've decided that being a Christian is the hardest thing I have ever tried. And forgiveness is the hardest task under the umbrella. I know what Christ said.
Luke 6:29-30 . . . look it up. It sucks.
there you go.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
for too long.
For too long
I've been afriad of change,
afraid of losing change,
afraid of being change.
For too long
this body has failed me,
I have failed this body,
I have loved this body.
For too long
we've watered the plants,
waited for the plants,
planted in gardens.
For too long
I have believed in God,
Hoped for God,
Forgot who God is.
For too long
I've wanted the end,
dreaded the end,
acknowledged an end.
I've been afriad of change,
afraid of losing change,
afraid of being change.
For too long
this body has failed me,
I have failed this body,
I have loved this body.
For too long
we've watered the plants,
waited for the plants,
planted in gardens.
For too long
I have believed in God,
Hoped for God,
Forgot who God is.
For too long
I've wanted the end,
dreaded the end,
acknowledged an end.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
things change.
My little sister is at Cornerstone. I hope she's having fun.
....jerk.
On another note Nathan Miller reminded me by saying this gold nugget, "I am not opposed to making a fool of myself for raising money." I've become so business. I've forgotten how to be foolish.
*go watch "The Corporation". http://www.freedocumentaries.com/. It's great.
late night post...sleepy....eyelids heavy....going....going....goin....goi.......
....jerk.
On another note Nathan Miller reminded me by saying this gold nugget, "I am not opposed to making a fool of myself for raising money." I've become so business. I've forgotten how to be foolish.
*go watch "The Corporation". http://www.freedocumentaries.com/. It's great.
late night post...sleepy....eyelids heavy....going....going....goin....goi.......
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Loud and Proud!
I went to mass tonight with a friend. Behind us sat this little girl with her mother. Both were wearing lacy headcoverings. I didn't think much of them until we sang the song "Sanctuary". This little girl was singing this song at the top of her lungs! Not many of the folks in the congregation knew the words or really even seemed to care, but this girl was belting it out like her life depended on it.
Someday she realize just how much her life depends on it! But for now the gaudy, obnoxious singing should serve as a example to the rest of us. We must be out there. We must be odd. We must be his. This little girl was singing her loudest and best and she is first in the kingdom.
An old saying goes, "If you can't dance, it's not your revolution!" And this is my cry.
Let the lover be disgraceful,
Crazy, absentminded.
Someone sober will worry
About things going badly.
Let the lover be.
-Rumi
Someday she realize just how much her life depends on it! But for now the gaudy, obnoxious singing should serve as a example to the rest of us. We must be out there. We must be odd. We must be his. This little girl was singing her loudest and best and she is first in the kingdom.
An old saying goes, "If you can't dance, it's not your revolution!" And this is my cry.
Let the lover be disgraceful,
Crazy, absentminded.
Someone sober will worry
About things going badly.
Let the lover be.
-Rumi
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Runnin' away with the goods.
I knew I would be horrible at this blog. As you can see, it has been months since I even remembered this existed on the wide wide wide world web!
However, I do want to continue the experiment as best as I can, so without further adieu...
Today after much deliberation and months of searching I landed a job! I was so blessed that All-Pure Water Store started looking for a replacement the exact day I came in looking for work. All I have to do is fill bottles of water all day long. Luckily it's only on Saturdays which works completely perfect with the way I handle my life. The owners of the company are just a sweet old couple. They are your picture-perfect 60-some-odd couple complete with graying, neatly groomed hair, conservative and Christian values. I love them!
I couldn't help but laugh out loud a couple of times today at some of their quirks! When I arrived I was wearing my Matisyahu (jewish rapper) shirt with his picture on it. He has a large beard. Mrs. Water (whom will continuously carry this name) looked at it and said, "Is that one-a-them eastern religions!?" To which I responded, "Umm....Israel is eastern I guess." She was still confused.
Later she got on to me for having earrings. She said, "What are those things stuck in your ears?" And I said, "Oh yeah, these things! I always forget I have them!" And she said, "Well, I won't. Take them out you are a man!" Fair enough.
In general, it was a good first day. I shouldn't yet couldn't complain about anything.
.....until....
Earlier tonight I was pulling up to the gas station in the downpour of the century. I got out of my car, put the gas pump into the car, and proceeded to work the credit card display. After three attempts, my card was declined so I got back in my car to try another gas station. I got about 15 ft. when I hear a large POP. I look in my side mirror only to see a gas pump and its tube dangling from the side of my car. I thought to myself, "DAMN! I didn't even get gas!!"
The sales attendant said the bill was in the mail. Awesome.
I've been reading a lot of books recently so be ready for upcoming theological and philisophical posts!
However, I do want to continue the experiment as best as I can, so without further adieu...
Today after much deliberation and months of searching I landed a job! I was so blessed that All-Pure Water Store started looking for a replacement the exact day I came in looking for work. All I have to do is fill bottles of water all day long. Luckily it's only on Saturdays which works completely perfect with the way I handle my life. The owners of the company are just a sweet old couple. They are your picture-perfect 60-some-odd couple complete with graying, neatly groomed hair, conservative and Christian values. I love them!
I couldn't help but laugh out loud a couple of times today at some of their quirks! When I arrived I was wearing my Matisyahu (jewish rapper) shirt with his picture on it. He has a large beard. Mrs. Water (whom will continuously carry this name) looked at it and said, "Is that one-a-them eastern religions!?" To which I responded, "Umm....Israel is eastern I guess." She was still confused.
Later she got on to me for having earrings. She said, "What are those things stuck in your ears?" And I said, "Oh yeah, these things! I always forget I have them!" And she said, "Well, I won't. Take them out you are a man!" Fair enough.
In general, it was a good first day. I shouldn't yet couldn't complain about anything.
.....until....
Earlier tonight I was pulling up to the gas station in the downpour of the century. I got out of my car, put the gas pump into the car, and proceeded to work the credit card display. After three attempts, my card was declined so I got back in my car to try another gas station. I got about 15 ft. when I hear a large POP. I look in my side mirror only to see a gas pump and its tube dangling from the side of my car. I thought to myself, "DAMN! I didn't even get gas!!"
The sales attendant said the bill was in the mail. Awesome.
I've been reading a lot of books recently so be ready for upcoming theological and philisophical posts!
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